Solitude

Well my month long hiatus is over, and I find myself with something to write again.

Being alone is not really all that bad. The solitude gives you time for introspection and makes you appreciate the little things in life. As an only child to 2 working parents I've had my share of solitude, and I'm none the worse for it.

What is bad is being lonely. I know that both things may be the same, but my command of englissh is not great enough to pull a word out opff the myriad of them that encapsulates what I mean. Instead let me try and explain.

Being alone is a state. It arises when thorugh external factors, there is noone to keep you company, and you accept that. It passes and noone really cares. Being lonely, in my concept of the term is when you feel unwanted by people and hence you try and be alone. In my concept, being lonely is a decision you make, when you excuse yourself from socciety because you don;t feel like you can take its beating anymore, and as icing on the cake if you will, this leads to your friends feeling offended and themselves feeling lonely.

Friends are essential. That goes without saying. There's only so much that one person can bare, and friends help share the load. They're your support, your laughter and your tears. But they are not yours. If one fails to understand that one's friends are not just one's friends but induvuduals all on their own with lives, hopes, dispairs of their own, then one isn't a friend at all.

Being lonely is a direct consequence of the failure to appreciate the life of one's friends. You expect them to always be there for you to pick you up, straighten you out and say- tomorrow is another day, but they are human too. And if you're lucky enough to come across that rare individual who puts you above themselves in every action.  consider yourself the luckiest person on earth, but bear in mind, they're human too, and just as they are your friend, you're theirs too, and you need to be all that they are to you. Because every relationship goes 2 ways.

But its not enough that you make yourself available. Anyone can say call me when you need help. What matters is actually meaning that. Actually meaning that whenever you need me, whenever your lonely, whenever the world seems to beat you done, I'm there for you, above everything else, I will pick you up, I will set you right, I will share your smile, and I will wipe you tears. For that is what being a friend is all about, and in the selfish ssociety that man has created for himself, that is the only way to ease ones passage through the relelntless gauntlet that is life.

 

Choices Revisited

This is a follow up to a previous post is a sense.

Last week after lunch, I'm walking back with a friend when we get to THE shop. It's called enzo, ans stocks everything a guy needs, from coke to lays to hide and seek, and for the nerdy people, stick files and notebooks. Anyhow, as I walk towards Enzo in the oppressive heat, I start thinking, should I buy a frooti or an ice cream? Instantly, my mind starts weighing the pros and cons of each, and a second later, the thinker in me surfaces. Why can't every decision in life be between frooti and ice cream? There is no wrong answer. There is no 'wrong' choice. Wether I buy the Frooti or the ice cream, I'm going to be happy. The only hesitation arises from not knowing which one would give me the most satisfaction. but they both will.

Life on the other hand offers you choices between something that 'might' satisfy you, and something that most definately will not, in the long run. It is the instinctive knowledge of that inherent aspect of all decisons, that we always hesitate before we make a choice. 

In the previous post, I proposed the abolition of choice, which is inherently impossible, but here I propose the abolition of the concept of a 'wrong' choice. This too is a very very hopeful thought, considering the selfish society, but it is slightly possible...

I didn't have either by the way.

Another observation I made is particularly applicable to collegers, is how no mattter how many days you have to do something, you always do it at the last moment. I mean, I do it, I corrupted my room-mate into doing it, and I am in the process of corrupting my closest friends. The whole reason for that I feel is that only when there is the pressure of-AARGGHHH tomorrow??? that you can actually bring yourself to do something. Otherwise no matter how hard you try, you end up with a small voice in the back of your head going-why now? you have time. relax... When the deadlines the next day though, the voice conveniently changes into-HaHa should have done it earlier!!

I've been telling myself to do work beforehand since I was 9. Now, 10 years later, I still do things on the last day. I have an assignment for tomorrow, and I haven't even gotten the materials. Oops.. I just realized my mom reads this...

As a final note, I apologize to my faithful readers (you guys) for the tempests(thats me) lack of posts over the past week. My internet got over and the internet-selling-person here conveniently got a fever. But, I'm back, and the storm is coming!!

Hmmm....(2)

Now that the blog is officially up and running, I am faced with the daunting task of quality control. If I am to expand my reader base, I have to make this substantially more than the ramblings of a half-crazy 19 year old...

The stuff below was a song I wrote for my band, but it never really took off. Might have something to do with the fact that I was lead singer, and I cannot positively absolutely sing for peanuts. I changed it a bit, took out the chorus, and was left with something suprisingly poetic...

What the world has made (of me)

Life seems to slip away,

I lose my place for good,

I forget who I am,

And I ask of myself,

Is life worth fighting for?

Is love worth living for?

Because now I see, what the world has made of me, 

And I give up all my hope.

What is the purpose of this?

Why this life at all?

I wonder why this fiction, 

I want to leap from up high.

As I stand on the edge

As I stare into the deep,

I clearly see what the world has made of me, 

And I give up all my hope.

Why continue this fight?

Why live in twilight?

Why not give in?

Why not give up?
I can't even see the sun,

The stars dont shine for me,

Now I am what the world has made of me,

And I have given up my hope.

(guitar solo ending in a drum beat)

How can I give up this fight?

How can I abandon

All that I love,

All that I live for?
As I stand on the edge,

My heart beats again,

I refuse to be what the world has made of me

And I must hold on to my hope.

I stare into the night

But my head is held high

My soul stirs from slumber,

My passion re-ignites

Life is worth fighting for

Love is worth living for,

Now I see that the world has made me, me

And I live in my hope...

Hmmmm....(1)

I don't know the ettiquete regarding how many posts a day are socially acceptable, but since this is my blog, I figure I can post as many times as I like. COme to think about it, I don;t know the spelling of ettiquete either. Maybe I got it right... french words have that funny habit of soundin absolutly nothing like they're spelt. take bourgeious for example(I think I spelt that right!!). It means 'middle class'. Guess how its pronounced... come on... look at the g and the r... the umpteen vowels... nope you're wrong. The pronounciations actually 'booshwa'. Yup... weird eh?
Another thing I've never realy come to terms with is sms lingo. I mean, I use it all the time, and I would consider myself decent at it, but evertime I see 'wru?' I instantly get this mental image of ancient african people in their loincloths with their spears in like 10000BC, hunting a huge elephant, going -WRU WRU to each other. It seems to fit you know? Like a kind of pumping up chant.. try it... WRU WRU WRU WRU.. It means 'where are you' by the way.

I get the necessity of it. In India, most service providers give you 160 charectars per sms. Meaning you really do have to come up with short forms, like droppin the last letter off words, writin numbers 4 words, that sorta thing, but when it makes the message unreadable, it kinda defeats the purpose don't it?? ArGHHHH the bad grammers gettin 2 me.. OOPS!!
But the one thingI absoutely cannot stand is... drumroll please....'k'. I mean, how busy do you have to be to reply to an sms in 1 letter?! The word okay just 4 letters long. That got cut down to 2, and now to 1. Its annoying to be honest. Theres nothing that kills your mood faster than to be smsing someone close to you, and getting 'k' in reply. It sends the image that the other guy/gal is doing it outta pity you know? This post is gonna be full of sms lingo I guess.... Gotten into da habit... lol('laugh out loud')

That completes my monologue on sms lingo. I initially had plans of writing something completely different, but as I've been answering messages as I type this, I got side tracked...

So, till next time... cya l8r....