EQUILIBRIUM

I guess my old exuberance has caught up with me once again. I'm posting again!

Do you sometimes feel like the more you try to change something, not yourself, but just something, the more it ends up staying the same? What I mean is, as you try to change something, inertia kicks in, and everything goes kaput. It stays changed for a while but almost always returns to how it was. One thing in chemistry, my least favourite subject ever by the way, that I appreciated, was the Le-Chatelier principle. Basically it says that if a system is in dynamic equilibrium, and you try to disturb it, the system tries all it can to restore equilibrium. In a nutshell, you play around with it, it plays back. Its happy how it is, and it'll try to get back to how it was. In a sense, thats my entire life principle. Live and let live. If I'm happy with the world, and the world thats important to me is happy with me, then why try to change? It makes no sense really, to change equilibrium. And thats what I feel that everyone should acheive in life. Equilibrium. Not money or happiness, but equilibrium. A state which is dynamic and static at the same time. Things are changing, you're living life, but you're stable at the same time. Equilibrium. My life's aim in one word- EQUILIBRIUM. Profound epiphany...

Returning to the chemistry analogy again, There are catalysts that can shift the equilibrium in the way you want, and I think that all money and 'happiness' (the ' ' is just so that you can put whatever you define as happiness there) really is are catalysts that shift this equilibrium one way or the other. When you're actually fully and completely satisfied with life, you attain equilibrium, and no matter what happens, you won't lose it. This is of course assuming day-to-day events. A death or something would obviously alter the context of it all, but once you do attain equilibrium ,I think its very VERY hard to lose it, because like it or not, the system (you) tries sub-consciously to retain it.

Now I'm sure you have lots of arguments to this admittedly over-simplification, but I'm sure you get the basic premise. If you are happy with the world, and the worlds happy with you, let it stay that way. If something changes the equilibrium gets disturbed and you try and get it back.. Simple right??

I'm back!

3 months. A far cry from the times I tried to post every day. I plead guilty to abandonment this time. No excuses. No claims of lack of material. I simply got bored of writing a blog that I felt no one reads. But then I figured what the hell right? I mean someone's going to read this sometime, and when they do, I hope they get as much fulfillment out of it as I do when I write it. Because ultimately thats all a writer wants. Sure he'd like his works to become a best-seller or a financial success, but the pleasure of writing is in that instant, as you lay down your pen, or shut down your computer, the feeling of accomplishment, thats what its all about.

Life is in the little things. Sure its the big things that everyone makes a big deal out of, but have you ever stopped to wonder why you consider somethings big and others small? Its based on your perception of how society would view them. Why is divorce a bigger deal than bad manners? You feel society would shun you more for the former than the latter, though in todays world you really cant be told. I'm sick of telling people and being told that somethings 'not a big deal'. The very reason for having to say that is because someone feels bad about something that happened. And so you really think you can make him feel better by saying its not important? Of course its important! Thats kind of why they were sad in the first place. Its just when its not so important to us,, we assume that things have the same priority to others. Thats something I learned the hard way. Priorities. One persons sense of whats important need not be yours. And I urge all my readers, (few that they are :) ) not to make the mistake of assuming that whats important to you must be important to someone else.

Knowing what you want, and going all out for it is a trait that must be admired, no matter what that thing may be. It could be a new car, or a new job, or even an impossible dream, but what matters is that its important to you, and even if others don't understand that, or tell you 'its not a big deal', shut them out and go for it!

This doesn't match my usual style at all, but I'm feeling good. Coming off a bad time, the world seems brighter again, don't get used to it my faithful reader(s). A storm never stays calm for long...

BORING!!!!!

Ok... I thought I could get through the holidays. I almost did. I succumb with 3 weeks left. I am caught up in being actively inactive. I know there's a contradiction in there somewhere, but what the hell.

My boredom has led me to pursuits I never would have considered. I am now the owner of a Eastern Air Dragon. The cute purple thing you see to your right, and unless I find something better to do, the owner of a something that I just adopted 5 minutes ago. I have no idea what that will turn into, but I'll keep you posted.

Have you ever noticed that the more bored you get, the slower time passes. I know its a cliche, but it is true. You can almost feel the earth turn. It's not that I dont have anything to amuse myself with, but I lack the energy to actually do anything. Typical me, but I'm pretty sure you associate with me also. I haven't met anyone till date who can honestly say they've not been bored in the past hour. Man is almost always bored. Boredom arises not when you have nothing to do, but rather when you cant bring yourself to do something long enough. You get bored in movie theatres, in football games, watching TV, even eating. The theory I've come up with is to not try and do something else, but rather keep on doing what you were. Create an image of satisfaction about the task in your head and 'just do it', to quote Nike. The reason I call it a theory is because I've never practically applied it.. got too bored!!

A post about boredom... how sad life has become..

Oh and by the way, please visit my dragon... It gets lonely... And after the other 'thing' hatches, can you visit that too?

Thanx in advance!

EDIT: Heres something new... http://tempestnation.myminicity.com/ my own city... how the mighty fall :P

Solitude

Well my month long hiatus is over, and I find myself with something to write again.

Being alone is not really all that bad. The solitude gives you time for introspection and makes you appreciate the little things in life. As an only child to 2 working parents I've had my share of solitude, and I'm none the worse for it.

What is bad is being lonely. I know that both things may be the same, but my command of englissh is not great enough to pull a word out opff the myriad of them that encapsulates what I mean. Instead let me try and explain.

Being alone is a state. It arises when thorugh external factors, there is noone to keep you company, and you accept that. It passes and noone really cares. Being lonely, in my concept of the term is when you feel unwanted by people and hence you try and be alone. In my concept, being lonely is a decision you make, when you excuse yourself from socciety because you don;t feel like you can take its beating anymore, and as icing on the cake if you will, this leads to your friends feeling offended and themselves feeling lonely.

Friends are essential. That goes without saying. There's only so much that one person can bare, and friends help share the load. They're your support, your laughter and your tears. But they are not yours. If one fails to understand that one's friends are not just one's friends but induvuduals all on their own with lives, hopes, dispairs of their own, then one isn't a friend at all.

Being lonely is a direct consequence of the failure to appreciate the life of one's friends. You expect them to always be there for you to pick you up, straighten you out and say- tomorrow is another day, but they are human too. And if you're lucky enough to come across that rare individual who puts you above themselves in every action.  consider yourself the luckiest person on earth, but bear in mind, they're human too, and just as they are your friend, you're theirs too, and you need to be all that they are to you. Because every relationship goes 2 ways.

But its not enough that you make yourself available. Anyone can say call me when you need help. What matters is actually meaning that. Actually meaning that whenever you need me, whenever your lonely, whenever the world seems to beat you done, I'm there for you, above everything else, I will pick you up, I will set you right, I will share your smile, and I will wipe you tears. For that is what being a friend is all about, and in the selfish ssociety that man has created for himself, that is the only way to ease ones passage through the relelntless gauntlet that is life.

 

Literature again...

I'm someone with 0 will power. Meaning I start things and never finish them. Most of my projects never even see the light of day. I'm also someone with lots and lots of ideas in my head, and the stuff below is the prologue to one of the many story-lines in my head right now. I really like this particular one. The prologue doesn't convey much about the story, except the magic mechanism. I'll post the back story later. I'm writing it right now, kinda done with it so anyways....

Prologue: The Man in the Dark

The man walked on.  Cloaked in black, he was as visible as a shadow at night, and the night was darker than usual. The sky was shrouded in clouds and though the full moon tried valiantly, it remained hidden behind them.

The man neared his destination. The wooden walls of the outpost seemed granite in the night. He pulled his cloak around him tighter. Calling on the years of his training, he embraced the cunning within and became one with the night. Moving between the shadows he quickly neared the main tent, put up in the middle of the camp. The tent of the rebel leader Arkanor. He lay sleeping within.

The man arose out of the shadows of Arkanor’s dresser.  The lamp he used to keep the night at bay, proving  to be his downfall. The man slit his throat,  but he was careless, or perhaps bored. As Arkanor fell from his bed, his outstretched hand knocked over his helm, which lay just beside him. The clattering sound of steel on hard earth bought the sentry ‘guards’ running. They saw the man with his bloody dagger, and their leader dead at his feet. They immediately raised the alarm. The mans face twisted into a grin.

The man summoned the rage within him and his body immediately set itself on fire. From head to toe, the man was alight. His dagger turned the reddest of red, and seemed to weep blood. The sentry guards were charred to cinders in a moment. The tent a moment later. Now the man lit up the whole camp like a bonfire,  drawing to him the soldiers like moths. Calling on the justice within, the man crystallized the light of the fire into an impenetrable barrier that stopped all swords in mid strike, those that did not melt in the horrendous heat of his body that is.

The man stood and watched as soldiers charged towards him and fell, burned beyond all recognition. Then the archers arrived. Summoning his will to survive, the man created around him a space of no-time. As the arrows came, they entered the no-time and fell to the ground. But the archers continued on. Getting bored of this entertainment too, the man called upon the determination within him and summoned the power of the Maelstrom. The water in the air around him solidified into daggers of ice that he threw with unerring accuracy, ripping the archers literally to shreds. The lines of the soldiers were decimated, and yet they charged on. The man was getting late. He had one more assignment to finish off in the night. Unleashing the power of his courage, the man called forth the tempest. From the sky, bolts of lightning crashed down on the remaining soldiers. They fell dead where they stood. The howling winds carried then off into the air, and threw them, like a petulant girl would her dolls, onto the ground. The camp lay deserted. The man rearranged his cloak. Looking deep within to find the feeling of emptiness, the man collapsed the space between where he was and where he needed to be. The man took one step and vanished, arriving at his second destination, a thousand miles away, within the blinking of an eye.

The man still wore the grin, but now he was even whistling to himself. He was happy with how things had gone. Not only had he done the job, he had had some fun as well. Whistling tunelessly to himself, the man pulled his cloak around himself and strolled down the street, searching for his next target. 

Requiem of a Memory

Bowing to popular demand, I've decided to post another of my literary works. 

I signed up for this 'certificate' course last sem. On embedded systems or something. Suffice it to say that the class was so interesting that I found myself writing poems during it. I have maybe 3 or 4, and the popular demandee(my best friend Spike) telle me to upload one a week. I know mentioning his name is totally redundant, but he practically begged me to. Well he didn't actually, but its more fun this way. So anyways, the poem...

Requiem of a Memory

The day passes, the light dims

Memories once diamond bright

Rust as they recede to the dark

To return to sanity, I must fight.

Memories once fond, once cherished

Turn to ash as the clock turns.

Hours and hours of my history collapse,

My past life, slowly it burns.

At their birth, when they arose,

Took my higher deeper stronger.

Now, crippled by emotion,

Every day, to return, takes longer.

Memory! Why torment me now?

Why bring back pale shades of the past?

Again and once again in plunge,

Into sorrow, head first, feet last.

As I treead this lonely road,

Struggle do I against the burden I carry,

A life of hate and worry,

I hastern, I must not tarry.

But as I trek up the peak of my past,

Laughter, life flashes in a moment.

Times when joy in me heart I felt,

Perhaps life is not just torment.

But like light cannot exist without dark,

So too must joy and sorrow remain,

Bound together, forever alternate,

Gives life to this requiem, this refrain.

One's history is one's own unquestionable,

But why one oneself causes pain?
This query resounds in my every breath,

I wonder, Why this heavy chain?

As one day turns to the next,

In my life and in my past,

I come to see there is just cause,

To laugh, to cry, at last.

Choices Revisited

This is a follow up to a previous post is a sense.

Last week after lunch, I'm walking back with a friend when we get to THE shop. It's called enzo, ans stocks everything a guy needs, from coke to lays to hide and seek, and for the nerdy people, stick files and notebooks. Anyhow, as I walk towards Enzo in the oppressive heat, I start thinking, should I buy a frooti or an ice cream? Instantly, my mind starts weighing the pros and cons of each, and a second later, the thinker in me surfaces. Why can't every decision in life be between frooti and ice cream? There is no wrong answer. There is no 'wrong' choice. Wether I buy the Frooti or the ice cream, I'm going to be happy. The only hesitation arises from not knowing which one would give me the most satisfaction. but they both will.

Life on the other hand offers you choices between something that 'might' satisfy you, and something that most definately will not, in the long run. It is the instinctive knowledge of that inherent aspect of all decisons, that we always hesitate before we make a choice. 

In the previous post, I proposed the abolition of choice, which is inherently impossible, but here I propose the abolition of the concept of a 'wrong' choice. This too is a very very hopeful thought, considering the selfish society, but it is slightly possible...

I didn't have either by the way.

Another observation I made is particularly applicable to collegers, is how no mattter how many days you have to do something, you always do it at the last moment. I mean, I do it, I corrupted my room-mate into doing it, and I am in the process of corrupting my closest friends. The whole reason for that I feel is that only when there is the pressure of-AARGGHHH tomorrow??? that you can actually bring yourself to do something. Otherwise no matter how hard you try, you end up with a small voice in the back of your head going-why now? you have time. relax... When the deadlines the next day though, the voice conveniently changes into-HaHa should have done it earlier!!

I've been telling myself to do work beforehand since I was 9. Now, 10 years later, I still do things on the last day. I have an assignment for tomorrow, and I haven't even gotten the materials. Oops.. I just realized my mom reads this...

As a final note, I apologize to my faithful readers (you guys) for the tempests(thats me) lack of posts over the past week. My internet got over and the internet-selling-person here conveniently got a fever. But, I'm back, and the storm is coming!!