Let Go

What does it mean to let go? Does it mean to abandon, to forget, to act like something never existed? Or does it mean to accept something so fully, To understand it so deeply, to believe in it so much, that you realize that its better off without you?

Letting go of the past is one thing. You cant abandon it and you may think you've forgotten it, but you haven't really. Why would one want to forget who one is, because ultimately, where you are, who you are, why you are, is entirely because of your past. The decisions you made, the decisions that were made for you, the people you met, the people you didn't, the risks you took, and the ones you deemed too risky. You've made your past, and through your past, you've made your present, and this present gives you the platform to build your future. There is no meaning to letting go of all of this, if you believe letting go is, just letting go. To truly let go of your past, to be rid of the weight it carries, the burden it places on your shoulders, the expectations that arise from it, so that you may have a present that is not merely an echo of the past, is to accept the past in its entirety. With no excuses, and no justifications, look back on what you've done, the mistakes you've made, but never regret them for a moment. There are no do-overs in life, and wishing there were is just a waste of time. Grasp your past and realize what is is you've done, the decisions you made out of emotion, or pride, and how they've shaped your life. Think how your life may have been different had you thought differently, but never dwell on what could have been, because that can never be. The sooner you accept your past with no reservations, and no regrets, then and only then have you let go of it.

Letting go of a person is incredibly more difficult than letting go of the past. For one, its not something of yours that you're giving away. Its someone else. Someone who means the world to you, because its only such people that you would want to let go off. I know that sounds paradoxical, but think of this. If it were someone who didn't mean much to you at all, and you said goodbye, then thats all there is to it. Sure you'd feel sad for a while perhaps, but the void of something that was there, that is no longer there wouldn't eat you up form within. You wouldn't flagellate yourself believing that finally I have let my ego get the better of me. Thats why letting go of a persons harder. When you let go of the past, you're satisfying your ego. In the process, yes you bruise it and batter it, when you take the blame for your mistakes and your decisions, but the ultimate purpose is to make yourself happy, or at least happier than you were. But to let go off a friend, you have to curb your ego. You have to stomach your pride. You accept that they are better off without you. Without you introducing doubts and uncertainties into their life, without you putting compulsions on them, and how they should be. To do that, takes a strong will, and true love towards the person you're letting go of.

Afterwards, when its all said and done, when the void within has slowly started to recover, when you get used to the phantom pain of something that was there but is no longer there, nor will ever be there again, you can only hope that the one you let go off, is truly happier, and that you have made the right choice. And then as you sit thinking back over the past, how you were, how you are now, and the future that should have been, but will now not be, you let go of that feeling as well.

But as with everything worth anything, easier said than done...

Reflection

I look into a mirror, the mirror on my wall,

I see shoulders slumped in defeat,

I see eyes desperate for a retreat

Into myself, where I am safe,

Me demons cannot pursue me here,

My other self shows real fear,

And in his eyes, my eyes I see,

A longing, a desire to be free.

I look into a mirror, the mirror of my friends,

I wonder what they see,

As they stare back at me,

A man of arrogance, a man too proud,

Someone they'd rather lose in a crowd,

Very few among them know,

How my true feelings flow,

I wonder what they see,

Their eyes bore right through me.

I look into a mirror, the mirror of the world,

People I know merely by a glance,

Others I wish, to meet, I had a chance,

All of them they look at me,

Some, like, others hate what they see,

They see a man too vain, too cruel,

A man ever eager to fight a duel,

Someone who wont back down till the win,

No matter the cost, he must win,

That is what they see as they stare,

None of them even care,

To see the real me, the one I hide,

My light, or maybe, darker side,

How can I blame them, I give them just cause,

I wish they knew though, everyone has flaws

I look into a mirror, the mirror of my heart,

The one within which noone sees,

The reflection no man can seize

The only me I ever want to be,

The one I want everyone to see,

But he is hidden deep within,

Safe from the world, he lays within,

Crying with every breath I take,

Every change I make for the world's sake,

All I want is for him to stop his tears,

For the world to overcome its fears,

And embrace the one within, my true self,

How can they, when I haven't, myself.

Something I wrote as a post, that is, right now, unlike my other works, which were written much earlier than when I posted them. A much more personal poem, and I know some people who might appreciate its honesty...

Pessimist and Proud!

Inspiration comes in various forms, but none as weird as mine today I'm sure.

Have any of you noticed that at the top of any blog on blogger, there's an option called next blog? That randomly throws you to some other blog, and this time, after chain-jumping for a while, one of my online activities, I ended up in a Chinese blog about a guy getting some random Chinese word shaved into his head. Yeah. Seriously. I was impressed. and considering I'm posting, I guess inspired too... My parents assure me they never dropped me when I was a baby.. not so sure now.... :P

As most of you know, I'm a third year engineering guy right now, and I'm pretty happy with life in general, mostly because I dont really ask too much from it. I have my aims and my desires and my hopes, but being a born pessimist, I assume that none of them will ever come true. Sure that sounds depressing, but listen to my logic, and I'm sure you'll come around to my way of thinking.

If you're an optimist and always believes the best will happen, then you're bound to be disappointed, because real life never happens perfectly. IF you wish for something you know is a long-shot, then chances are you wont get it. Sure you can quote the stories where the impossible does happen, but they are so few and far between. Thats why they're even remembered, because they're atypical. But on the other hand, if you believe that the worst will always happen, then you can only ever be pleasantly surprised at what does actually happen, because by definition, the "worst" is the worst, and life can only be better. Think about it, it makes sense. I'm standing up for pessimists all over the world as I write this. Too long have we been shunned and marginalized for speaking our views. WE play the role noone wants. The villain, the bad guy. The guy who thinks the plan will fail, the guy who believes that there isn't a "good guy" within us all, while secretly all we want is to be proven wrong. Yup. We want to be proven wrong.

The reason so few people like to be pessimistic is because it takes effort. Any idiot can go around hoping the best will happen, but a pessimist has to think about the worst that ca happen. and then think of how to deal with it. Being pessimistic is really easy, but being a true pessimist, now thats hard. It entails accepting and planning for the worst. You have to be willing to deal with the worst-case scenario if it does arise, and you have to have the self-belief that you can handle it. If not, you're headed to world of despair and depression if you follow the pessimistic path.

I think thats a common misconception, a pessimist doesn't want the world to go up in flames, but he thinks it might, so that he can be pleased when it doesn't. A cynic, on the other hand WANTS it to burn. And all the while, the optimist sits and makes flower-chains and sings weird music.

The pessimist wants the world to be good and wants things to be alright. He wants people to be good and the plan to work, but he'd rather be the brunt of negativity than be disappointed if life doesn't go exactly to plan. In that sense I think the optimist is actually a secret masochist. He wants to be disappointed again and again and again, and after a while he becomes the most useless thing possible- a cynic.

Optimists gone bad make cynics. They hoped for the best, hoped for the utterly impossible. Hoped exams would get cancelled just because they didn't study, hoped their bosses' planes would crash, and such lovely thoughts, which of course never happened, now they've lost faith in the world and spend time sprouting negativity. A true pessimist will never become a cynic Why would he? Life always turns out better than he had hoped for. No time does he feel that the world is out to get him, but rather he always feels that the world has been good to him.

I'm proud to be a pessimist. I truly believe that the worst will happen always, and I always feel overjoyed when it doesn't. Life is hard, yes, but the depth of hardness is relative. I f you set the bar of how hard you think life is going to be high enough, and prepare yourself for that, you'll be surprised at how easy life actually becomes..

EQUILIBRIUM

I guess my old exuberance has caught up with me once again. I'm posting again!

Do you sometimes feel like the more you try to change something, not yourself, but just something, the more it ends up staying the same? What I mean is, as you try to change something, inertia kicks in, and everything goes kaput. It stays changed for a while but almost always returns to how it was. One thing in chemistry, my least favourite subject ever by the way, that I appreciated, was the Le-Chatelier principle. Basically it says that if a system is in dynamic equilibrium, and you try to disturb it, the system tries all it can to restore equilibrium. In a nutshell, you play around with it, it plays back. Its happy how it is, and it'll try to get back to how it was. In a sense, thats my entire life principle. Live and let live. If I'm happy with the world, and the world thats important to me is happy with me, then why try to change? It makes no sense really, to change equilibrium. And thats what I feel that everyone should acheive in life. Equilibrium. Not money or happiness, but equilibrium. A state which is dynamic and static at the same time. Things are changing, you're living life, but you're stable at the same time. Equilibrium. My life's aim in one word- EQUILIBRIUM. Profound epiphany...

Returning to the chemistry analogy again, There are catalysts that can shift the equilibrium in the way you want, and I think that all money and 'happiness' (the ' ' is just so that you can put whatever you define as happiness there) really is are catalysts that shift this equilibrium one way or the other. When you're actually fully and completely satisfied with life, you attain equilibrium, and no matter what happens, you won't lose it. This is of course assuming day-to-day events. A death or something would obviously alter the context of it all, but once you do attain equilibrium ,I think its very VERY hard to lose it, because like it or not, the system (you) tries sub-consciously to retain it.

Now I'm sure you have lots of arguments to this admittedly over-simplification, but I'm sure you get the basic premise. If you are happy with the world, and the worlds happy with you, let it stay that way. If something changes the equilibrium gets disturbed and you try and get it back.. Simple right??

I'm back!

3 months. A far cry from the times I tried to post every day. I plead guilty to abandonment this time. No excuses. No claims of lack of material. I simply got bored of writing a blog that I felt no one reads. But then I figured what the hell right? I mean someone's going to read this sometime, and when they do, I hope they get as much fulfillment out of it as I do when I write it. Because ultimately thats all a writer wants. Sure he'd like his works to become a best-seller or a financial success, but the pleasure of writing is in that instant, as you lay down your pen, or shut down your computer, the feeling of accomplishment, thats what its all about.

Life is in the little things. Sure its the big things that everyone makes a big deal out of, but have you ever stopped to wonder why you consider somethings big and others small? Its based on your perception of how society would view them. Why is divorce a bigger deal than bad manners? You feel society would shun you more for the former than the latter, though in todays world you really cant be told. I'm sick of telling people and being told that somethings 'not a big deal'. The very reason for having to say that is because someone feels bad about something that happened. And so you really think you can make him feel better by saying its not important? Of course its important! Thats kind of why they were sad in the first place. Its just when its not so important to us,, we assume that things have the same priority to others. Thats something I learned the hard way. Priorities. One persons sense of whats important need not be yours. And I urge all my readers, (few that they are :) ) not to make the mistake of assuming that whats important to you must be important to someone else.

Knowing what you want, and going all out for it is a trait that must be admired, no matter what that thing may be. It could be a new car, or a new job, or even an impossible dream, but what matters is that its important to you, and even if others don't understand that, or tell you 'its not a big deal', shut them out and go for it!

This doesn't match my usual style at all, but I'm feeling good. Coming off a bad time, the world seems brighter again, don't get used to it my faithful reader(s). A storm never stays calm for long...

BORING!!!!!

Ok... I thought I could get through the holidays. I almost did. I succumb with 3 weeks left. I am caught up in being actively inactive. I know there's a contradiction in there somewhere, but what the hell.

My boredom has led me to pursuits I never would have considered. I am now the owner of a Eastern Air Dragon. The cute purple thing you see to your right, and unless I find something better to do, the owner of a something that I just adopted 5 minutes ago. I have no idea what that will turn into, but I'll keep you posted.

Have you ever noticed that the more bored you get, the slower time passes. I know its a cliche, but it is true. You can almost feel the earth turn. It's not that I dont have anything to amuse myself with, but I lack the energy to actually do anything. Typical me, but I'm pretty sure you associate with me also. I haven't met anyone till date who can honestly say they've not been bored in the past hour. Man is almost always bored. Boredom arises not when you have nothing to do, but rather when you cant bring yourself to do something long enough. You get bored in movie theatres, in football games, watching TV, even eating. The theory I've come up with is to not try and do something else, but rather keep on doing what you were. Create an image of satisfaction about the task in your head and 'just do it', to quote Nike. The reason I call it a theory is because I've never practically applied it.. got too bored!!

A post about boredom... how sad life has become..

Oh and by the way, please visit my dragon... It gets lonely... And after the other 'thing' hatches, can you visit that too?

Thanx in advance!

EDIT: Heres something new... http://tempestnation.myminicity.com/ my own city... how the mighty fall :P

Solitude

Well my month long hiatus is over, and I find myself with something to write again.

Being alone is not really all that bad. The solitude gives you time for introspection and makes you appreciate the little things in life. As an only child to 2 working parents I've had my share of solitude, and I'm none the worse for it.

What is bad is being lonely. I know that both things may be the same, but my command of englissh is not great enough to pull a word out opff the myriad of them that encapsulates what I mean. Instead let me try and explain.

Being alone is a state. It arises when thorugh external factors, there is noone to keep you company, and you accept that. It passes and noone really cares. Being lonely, in my concept of the term is when you feel unwanted by people and hence you try and be alone. In my concept, being lonely is a decision you make, when you excuse yourself from socciety because you don;t feel like you can take its beating anymore, and as icing on the cake if you will, this leads to your friends feeling offended and themselves feeling lonely.

Friends are essential. That goes without saying. There's only so much that one person can bare, and friends help share the load. They're your support, your laughter and your tears. But they are not yours. If one fails to understand that one's friends are not just one's friends but induvuduals all on their own with lives, hopes, dispairs of their own, then one isn't a friend at all.

Being lonely is a direct consequence of the failure to appreciate the life of one's friends. You expect them to always be there for you to pick you up, straighten you out and say- tomorrow is another day, but they are human too. And if you're lucky enough to come across that rare individual who puts you above themselves in every action.  consider yourself the luckiest person on earth, but bear in mind, they're human too, and just as they are your friend, you're theirs too, and you need to be all that they are to you. Because every relationship goes 2 ways.

But its not enough that you make yourself available. Anyone can say call me when you need help. What matters is actually meaning that. Actually meaning that whenever you need me, whenever your lonely, whenever the world seems to beat you done, I'm there for you, above everything else, I will pick you up, I will set you right, I will share your smile, and I will wipe you tears. For that is what being a friend is all about, and in the selfish ssociety that man has created for himself, that is the only way to ease ones passage through the relelntless gauntlet that is life.

 

Literature again...

I'm someone with 0 will power. Meaning I start things and never finish them. Most of my projects never even see the light of day. I'm also someone with lots and lots of ideas in my head, and the stuff below is the prologue to one of the many story-lines in my head right now. I really like this particular one. The prologue doesn't convey much about the story, except the magic mechanism. I'll post the back story later. I'm writing it right now, kinda done with it so anyways....

Prologue: The Man in the Dark

The man walked on.  Cloaked in black, he was as visible as a shadow at night, and the night was darker than usual. The sky was shrouded in clouds and though the full moon tried valiantly, it remained hidden behind them.

The man neared his destination. The wooden walls of the outpost seemed granite in the night. He pulled his cloak around him tighter. Calling on the years of his training, he embraced the cunning within and became one with the night. Moving between the shadows he quickly neared the main tent, put up in the middle of the camp. The tent of the rebel leader Arkanor. He lay sleeping within.

The man arose out of the shadows of Arkanor’s dresser.  The lamp he used to keep the night at bay, proving  to be his downfall. The man slit his throat,  but he was careless, or perhaps bored. As Arkanor fell from his bed, his outstretched hand knocked over his helm, which lay just beside him. The clattering sound of steel on hard earth bought the sentry ‘guards’ running. They saw the man with his bloody dagger, and their leader dead at his feet. They immediately raised the alarm. The mans face twisted into a grin.

The man summoned the rage within him and his body immediately set itself on fire. From head to toe, the man was alight. His dagger turned the reddest of red, and seemed to weep blood. The sentry guards were charred to cinders in a moment. The tent a moment later. Now the man lit up the whole camp like a bonfire,  drawing to him the soldiers like moths. Calling on the justice within, the man crystallized the light of the fire into an impenetrable barrier that stopped all swords in mid strike, those that did not melt in the horrendous heat of his body that is.

The man stood and watched as soldiers charged towards him and fell, burned beyond all recognition. Then the archers arrived. Summoning his will to survive, the man created around him a space of no-time. As the arrows came, they entered the no-time and fell to the ground. But the archers continued on. Getting bored of this entertainment too, the man called upon the determination within him and summoned the power of the Maelstrom. The water in the air around him solidified into daggers of ice that he threw with unerring accuracy, ripping the archers literally to shreds. The lines of the soldiers were decimated, and yet they charged on. The man was getting late. He had one more assignment to finish off in the night. Unleashing the power of his courage, the man called forth the tempest. From the sky, bolts of lightning crashed down on the remaining soldiers. They fell dead where they stood. The howling winds carried then off into the air, and threw them, like a petulant girl would her dolls, onto the ground. The camp lay deserted. The man rearranged his cloak. Looking deep within to find the feeling of emptiness, the man collapsed the space between where he was and where he needed to be. The man took one step and vanished, arriving at his second destination, a thousand miles away, within the blinking of an eye.

The man still wore the grin, but now he was even whistling to himself. He was happy with how things had gone. Not only had he done the job, he had had some fun as well. Whistling tunelessly to himself, the man pulled his cloak around himself and strolled down the street, searching for his next target. 

Requiem of a Memory

Bowing to popular demand, I've decided to post another of my literary works. 

I signed up for this 'certificate' course last sem. On embedded systems or something. Suffice it to say that the class was so interesting that I found myself writing poems during it. I have maybe 3 or 4, and the popular demandee(my best friend Spike) telle me to upload one a week. I know mentioning his name is totally redundant, but he practically begged me to. Well he didn't actually, but its more fun this way. So anyways, the poem...

Requiem of a Memory

The day passes, the light dims

Memories once diamond bright

Rust as they recede to the dark

To return to sanity, I must fight.

Memories once fond, once cherished

Turn to ash as the clock turns.

Hours and hours of my history collapse,

My past life, slowly it burns.

At their birth, when they arose,

Took my higher deeper stronger.

Now, crippled by emotion,

Every day, to return, takes longer.

Memory! Why torment me now?

Why bring back pale shades of the past?

Again and once again in plunge,

Into sorrow, head first, feet last.

As I treead this lonely road,

Struggle do I against the burden I carry,

A life of hate and worry,

I hastern, I must not tarry.

But as I trek up the peak of my past,

Laughter, life flashes in a moment.

Times when joy in me heart I felt,

Perhaps life is not just torment.

But like light cannot exist without dark,

So too must joy and sorrow remain,

Bound together, forever alternate,

Gives life to this requiem, this refrain.

One's history is one's own unquestionable,

But why one oneself causes pain?
This query resounds in my every breath,

I wonder, Why this heavy chain?

As one day turns to the next,

In my life and in my past,

I come to see there is just cause,

To laugh, to cry, at last.

Choices Revisited

This is a follow up to a previous post is a sense.

Last week after lunch, I'm walking back with a friend when we get to THE shop. It's called enzo, ans stocks everything a guy needs, from coke to lays to hide and seek, and for the nerdy people, stick files and notebooks. Anyhow, as I walk towards Enzo in the oppressive heat, I start thinking, should I buy a frooti or an ice cream? Instantly, my mind starts weighing the pros and cons of each, and a second later, the thinker in me surfaces. Why can't every decision in life be between frooti and ice cream? There is no wrong answer. There is no 'wrong' choice. Wether I buy the Frooti or the ice cream, I'm going to be happy. The only hesitation arises from not knowing which one would give me the most satisfaction. but they both will.

Life on the other hand offers you choices between something that 'might' satisfy you, and something that most definately will not, in the long run. It is the instinctive knowledge of that inherent aspect of all decisons, that we always hesitate before we make a choice. 

In the previous post, I proposed the abolition of choice, which is inherently impossible, but here I propose the abolition of the concept of a 'wrong' choice. This too is a very very hopeful thought, considering the selfish society, but it is slightly possible...

I didn't have either by the way.

Another observation I made is particularly applicable to collegers, is how no mattter how many days you have to do something, you always do it at the last moment. I mean, I do it, I corrupted my room-mate into doing it, and I am in the process of corrupting my closest friends. The whole reason for that I feel is that only when there is the pressure of-AARGGHHH tomorrow??? that you can actually bring yourself to do something. Otherwise no matter how hard you try, you end up with a small voice in the back of your head going-why now? you have time. relax... When the deadlines the next day though, the voice conveniently changes into-HaHa should have done it earlier!!

I've been telling myself to do work beforehand since I was 9. Now, 10 years later, I still do things on the last day. I have an assignment for tomorrow, and I haven't even gotten the materials. Oops.. I just realized my mom reads this...

As a final note, I apologize to my faithful readers (you guys) for the tempests(thats me) lack of posts over the past week. My internet got over and the internet-selling-person here conveniently got a fever. But, I'm back, and the storm is coming!!

God or the Proton?

I know its been a while since I posted, but I plead the excuse of exams and fever.

Lately I've been caught up in a discussion on the merits of science versus religion, as in which one is superior. To be frank, I don't think either is. Both are necessities in anyones life, and I really don't think that believeing on one prevents you from following the other.

Science and religion are actually intertwined. Religion explains the world through the heart, science through the mind. Ultimately, both seek to explain the world. And if you think about it, science arose in a sense because of religion. When man started questioning 'why?' religion began. When man started asking 'how?', science began, and inevitably, the why comes before the how.

I've always wondered why people are obsessed with 'why' something came to pass. It has already happened, so do the motives really matter? Consider a war. Knowledge of why it happens means very little to the widows and orphans. But knowing 'how' their dhusbands or fathers died is another matter. I feel the ultimately, 'how' is far more important than 'why', simply because 'why' is open to interpretation, while 'how' is not. The explanation of why someone did something is entirely dependant on the explainers mindset, beliefs and world views, while how is entirely objective, atleast in my opinion. There is only one possible explanation for how something happened, and that is inevitably factual.

Manss preoccupation with motive is absurd really. 500 years after something, knowing why it happened doesn't really matter much, because the world's changed, the people have changed, everythings changed. But from 'how' it happened, man can still learn.

I think I'll get back to the religion/science debate another time. Got class you see. But I leave you with this Menon original-"Man needs science to get thorough the day, but he needs religion to sleep aat night'.. Cool eh?

Choices...choices

Ah... Time to post again... actually not since I have exams right now, but then again exams may come and exams may go, but the blog goes on forever eh? Well thats the idea atleast... my mom might not be too happy though...

I recently learnt something pretty interesting about mosquitoes. They seem to have a rite of passage. It goes something like- suck blood from the biggest thing in the room. The flirtation with death for them seems almost exhilarating. I mean if you really think about it, you have to give the humble mosquito its due. Everytime its hungry, it has to put its life on the line. Imagine having to hunt a tiger for breakfast, lunch and dinner. That should put things into perspective.

Have you ever really considered the concept that humans are the highest form of life? I mean if you look at the apparent evidence, then I guess you could say we are, because in the grand scale of things, there is no other speccies who can boast of the level of dominion we have over the world. (Except maybe cockroaches. If you're afraid of bugs then pray that you don't survive a nuclear holocaust. All you're going to have for company will be those yucky little things)

Anyway, getting back to the highest form of life train of thought, it seems a given doesn't it? Even our religious books say that only after doing good deeds several times in previous lives does a soul gain shape as a human. Well here's where I disagree. I feel that a stone is luckier that a human. The reason being that a stone has no choice in what it can do. A stone can only exist. And its purpose is to just exist. It has no ambitions, no aspirations, no dissappointments, nothing to stop it from acheiveing its purpose of just being. Take a look at us though. From the day we're born, to the day we die, we face troubles, hardships, and worst of all- choices. You might disagree with me and feel that it is the power of choice that makes man who he is, and that a life without choice is an utterly pointless one, but what is the ultimate aim of life? Is it to be happy? Is it to have lots of money? Is there even an ultimate aim at all? Going by any of these assumptions, you have to concede that a life without choices would make it easier. There is no 'wrong' decision. All the ones are 'right'. And no matter what you do, you have the sense of satisfaction that you will accomplish your goal in life, to live.

I know I'm not making myself all that clear, so let me try again. A life with choices is one that has a much higher probability of having suffering one time or the other than a life without choices. And here I don't mean a situation where the lack of choice is forced upon you, but rather where the lack of choice is universal. The very concept of choice is to give man a sense that he has control over his life. And to be fair it does. I choose to write this blog. You choose to read it. But if you really think about it, aren't the really important decisions in life already made for you?

I leave you with that thought.

Hmmm....(2)

Now that the blog is officially up and running, I am faced with the daunting task of quality control. If I am to expand my reader base, I have to make this substantially more than the ramblings of a half-crazy 19 year old...

The stuff below was a song I wrote for my band, but it never really took off. Might have something to do with the fact that I was lead singer, and I cannot positively absolutely sing for peanuts. I changed it a bit, took out the chorus, and was left with something suprisingly poetic...

What the world has made (of me)

Life seems to slip away,

I lose my place for good,

I forget who I am,

And I ask of myself,

Is life worth fighting for?

Is love worth living for?

Because now I see, what the world has made of me, 

And I give up all my hope.

What is the purpose of this?

Why this life at all?

I wonder why this fiction, 

I want to leap from up high.

As I stand on the edge

As I stare into the deep,

I clearly see what the world has made of me, 

And I give up all my hope.

Why continue this fight?

Why live in twilight?

Why not give in?

Why not give up?
I can't even see the sun,

The stars dont shine for me,

Now I am what the world has made of me,

And I have given up my hope.

(guitar solo ending in a drum beat)

How can I give up this fight?

How can I abandon

All that I love,

All that I live for?
As I stand on the edge,

My heart beats again,

I refuse to be what the world has made of me

And I must hold on to my hope.

I stare into the night

But my head is held high

My soul stirs from slumber,

My passion re-ignites

Life is worth fighting for

Love is worth living for,

Now I see that the world has made me, me

And I live in my hope...

Selfish Society

The concept of the selfish society is one thats been in my head for a really long time now. I've written it down, but never really had a platform to get my thoughts across. Not that I have this blog, I figured I might as well use it as my own kind of creativity place. The place where I can write what I want, when I want, and how I want... So here goes...

The world does not turn for any one man, nor does the universe ever make life easier for you, no matter how much you want it. In a very real sense, humans are worse than rats in a maze. Atleast the rats get something worthwhile out of the whole maze-solving. What does man get? A life of worries and burdens that only get heavier till the day we finally give up on life. That is the real reason for pain and suffering. The tendancy of man to just give up. People boast about how they endure pain, and how it makes them stronger, but the truth is that they are too weak to do anything about it. Noone would experience pain, unless they had to. All the thoughts of final success serve to breathe 'life' into the illusion that men call life. Why is it even called that? Life means to live, to break free, to do what one wants and ultimately, to be happy. Noone can do any of those things. People have to go to the extent of defying death itself just to feel alive. Hence the craze for adventure sports.

Society is so structured that noone ever really gets what they want. There is always something better, someone higher. The very nature of society is to promote competition rather than promote unity. Satisfaction is simply unattainable. The guise of satisfaction that people claim, is merely the result of reaching a point where they cant go any higher. They have reached as high as they can, and have to settle for it. Of course they want more, but they cant have anymore. In one sentence, the point of life is to crawl until the slope becomes too steep for you to crawl up anymore. Sure puts 'life' into perspective.

There is no point in trying to be who you think society wants you to be, because society doesn't care. It doesnt care unless you pose a threat to its core aim, unless you directly attack its very heart, unless you become happy. The second you try to 'live', try to break free, jealous hands pull you down from all directions. Their logic very simple. If I can't have it, I won't let you either. And the cycle continues. 

Society has permeated mans being to such an extent that we compete even with ourselves. At a time, when your heart says to let go, your ego tells you, if you do, society will brand you a coward. And as we live for the society,, we ineveitably supress our heart and give in to the ego.  The concept of 'society' has so radically altered the way we 'live' that we are all afraid to be who we are, too afraid to react the way we want to, simply because 'socity' would label us freaks, and ostracize us. Man made society. Now society makes and breaks the man. The lack of life is death. Reminds me of life.

"To be or not to be"- Hamlet 

Hmmmm....(1)

I don't know the ettiquete regarding how many posts a day are socially acceptable, but since this is my blog, I figure I can post as many times as I like. COme to think about it, I don;t know the spelling of ettiquete either. Maybe I got it right... french words have that funny habit of soundin absolutly nothing like they're spelt. take bourgeious for example(I think I spelt that right!!). It means 'middle class'. Guess how its pronounced... come on... look at the g and the r... the umpteen vowels... nope you're wrong. The pronounciations actually 'booshwa'. Yup... weird eh?
Another thing I've never realy come to terms with is sms lingo. I mean, I use it all the time, and I would consider myself decent at it, but evertime I see 'wru?' I instantly get this mental image of ancient african people in their loincloths with their spears in like 10000BC, hunting a huge elephant, going -WRU WRU to each other. It seems to fit you know? Like a kind of pumping up chant.. try it... WRU WRU WRU WRU.. It means 'where are you' by the way.

I get the necessity of it. In India, most service providers give you 160 charectars per sms. Meaning you really do have to come up with short forms, like droppin the last letter off words, writin numbers 4 words, that sorta thing, but when it makes the message unreadable, it kinda defeats the purpose don't it?? ArGHHHH the bad grammers gettin 2 me.. OOPS!!
But the one thingI absoutely cannot stand is... drumroll please....'k'. I mean, how busy do you have to be to reply to an sms in 1 letter?! The word okay just 4 letters long. That got cut down to 2, and now to 1. Its annoying to be honest. Theres nothing that kills your mood faster than to be smsing someone close to you, and getting 'k' in reply. It sends the image that the other guy/gal is doing it outta pity you know? This post is gonna be full of sms lingo I guess.... Gotten into da habit... lol('laugh out loud')

That completes my monologue on sms lingo. I initially had plans of writing something completely different, but as I've been answering messages as I type this, I got side tracked...

So, till next time... cya l8r....

Fantasy begins....

Well now that the formalities of the 'inaugural' post is done, I can actually start writing about some proper stuff... what to begin with?

I'm currently in the middle of book 7 of the 'Wheel of Time' by Robert Jordan. Its torture on the eyes with the small print, but the story makes up for it. I really don't wanna write for close to 7 hours straight, because thats how long it'll take to do justice to the story so far, so I'm gonna stop at sayin that its an absolute must-read. Especially if  you're a fantasy nut. The sad thing is that not many people I know have actually read it. They think fantasy, and they stop at Harry Potter, somethin IMO that is definately NOT fantasy. I mean, the book is very well written. but fantasy it is not. Nowadays though people are/were bitten by saphira, the blue dragon in Eragon. I liked the first book, suffered through the second, and positively slogged through the third. It started off really well, but Mr paulini lost his way somewhat I feel. The Lord of the Rings. How could I not mention that one. Try the book. The movie is amazing, but honestly can't do justice to the book. Don't believe me? Think I'm exaggerating? Read it. Itsw not for the faint-hearted though. It'll take a while to get going, and even longer to finish, but after that, you know what fantasy truly is. Harry Potter, eat your heart out....

Later posts  will have in-depth critiques of lots of fantasy books, since thats pretty much how I spend most of my time. But before I end, to rip off a very famous line, this is 

'One blog to rule them all!!!'

The very first post

Well here goes nothing... 

My blog. My very own part of the internet. Ah.... feels good to know that my words are being read.

Since this is the very first post, writing longer would be weird. I still have to figure out the dynakmics of the whole 'blogging' phenomenon. I had these ideas in mind of having lots of pages and links and all jazzy stuff here and there, but doesn;t seem like it'll work. But I am not disenheartened!! On the contrary, I'm feeling all pumped up... Might have something to do with the burger I just ate...

Anyhow, I think this is long enough for a first post.... Hah... I'm a blogger....